It is said that we never grow older than the age in which we consciously or unconsciously chose to stop experiencing ourselves as loved. We might copy what is considered a grown up life-style, we learn manners and behaviours of being grown up and mature but we are usually not mature and grown up until we reconnect with loving ourselves.
The more I have researched into this subject, both through inquiring into my own story and by listening to others, it becomes more and more clear to me that we can track most of what we create or fail to create back to the degree of love we feel for ourselves. The more our true love-selves are covered up by the created self the more pain and discomfort we experience.
Lack of self love has the ability to reflect itself back to us in a myriad of ways such as:
- Judgment of ourselves and others
- Unhealthy relationships
- Unhealthy bodies and lack of self care
- Unhappiness, depression and feelings of meaninglessnes
- Big egos and an unhealthy need for confirmation
- Unhealthy comparison with others, jealousy and envy
- Lack of creativity and an experience of stuckness
- Experience of exclusion and separation
- Self-destructive behaviour and various forms and addictions
- A sense of powerlessness and discontent
- Control issues and the need to be right
- Performance anxiety
- Being emotionally closed off or shut down
- Repeated drama, conflicts and chaos
- Pushing ourselves to far and Burnout
- Victimhood and inability to see our role in our life experience
- Unhealthy projections and blame
- Lack of trust towards ourselves and others
- Lack of self confidence and self esteem
- Spiritual and material poverty
- Inability to stand up for ourselves and setting boundaries
- The inability to be true to ourselves and others
- Personality distortions
What is Self Love?
- Complete and utter love and acceptance of the self and our path based on the deep understanding of ourselves and our path that we have obtained through self exploration.
- The presence of Self Compassion and Self Responsibility
- The absence of Self Judgement
What is it not?
- Narcissism or being full of oneself, boasting
- The same as Self Confidence and Self Esteem
- Constant Bettering of oneself based of self judgement
What happens when we fall deeply in love with ourselves?
- Love is a form of infinite intelligence. When we allow that intelligence to flow through us and open our hearts to ourselves and to the world, we start vibrating at a higher frequency. Our intuition increases and through that we connect automatically with what is greater than ourselves. We simply become smarter and clearer.
- We intuitively know what’s good for us and not.
- We take care of ourselves, which is a prerequisite for our success in any area of our lives.
- We give our body what it needs and we choose to spend time in environments that are healthy for us
- We come into contact with a creative force within us that is focused on creating good for the world
- We stop violating ourselves by comparing ourselves with others
- Instead, we honor ourselves in a humble manner and we honor our uniqueness
- We feel compassion for ourselves and others
- We become very clear to ourselves and what we present to the outside world
- We trust ourselves and we trust life
- We dare to walk our own way
- We develop the unique gifts, qualities and talents we have been given and become an asset to the world
- We create healthy relationships
- We give of ourselves and we do it from a healthy place within us
- We know our boundaries and we express them gently
- We take ourselves out of the ego-trap of self-pity that prevents us from developing into truly loving and compassionate beings
- We find ways to maintain a healthy energy field and we stop taking on other people’s energies
- We stop identifying ourselves with our pain and suffering
- Instead, we discover that suffering is merely a sign that we are going against our truth and we change direction
- We release our hidden agenda
- We begin to have the experience of being one with everything and therefore it becomes easy to choose not to hurt other beings and other forms life.
- We begin to protect our energy and we do this in a natural, loving and humble way that is well received by the world and inspires others to do the same. We realize that it’s ok to protect our energy by changing our mind, doing what is best for us, cancelling plans, saying no and saying yes.